So I'm driving up a busy road yesterday afternoon well before rush hour and I come upon some slow traffic. Turns out someone coming in the other direction plowed into a telephone pole and damn near knocked it over. There was carnage everywhere.
Wrecks happen, whatever. Here's what pissed me off. While I tried to turn around and get the hell out of there as fast as I could, a couple people had stopped and gotten out a mere 50 feet from this downed power line.
Boom! A tree fell on the line and there was this exlosion! Did this get these idiots back in their cars and out of the way? No! Fucking idiots thought it was a fireworks show or something.
Boom! Second explosion! I don't know about the rest of you but I'm getting the fuck out of here so the rescue workers (that were already on the scene) could do their work.
So listen dumbasses, get back in your Prius and let these people do their jobs. I don't think you or your mock turtleneck sweater are going to be much help. And wash the gray frost out of your hair. It doesn't make you look smart.
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Fuck You, April
With apologies to Fuck You, Penguin please accept the following blog for your consideration.
Hey April, I was driving to work this morning and you know what I got hit with? Snow! It's fucking spring! Where was this shit in December and January when I wanted to go skiing?
May is way better then you April. You have nothing to offer. Opening Day? Sucks. Even cliches write you off; April showers bring May flowers. Ha! May pwn3d you.
I don't know from one day to the next whether to wear shorts or put on a fucking ski coat. This awesome tree in my yard just bloomed and now everything is probably gonna die. Thanks April, I've been waiting all year for that tree. Fucker.
Oh yeah, enough with the rain and wind already.
Hey April, I was driving to work this morning and you know what I got hit with? Snow! It's fucking spring! Where was this shit in December and January when I wanted to go skiing?
May is way better then you April. You have nothing to offer. Opening Day? Sucks. Even cliches write you off; April showers bring May flowers. Ha! May pwn3d you.
I don't know from one day to the next whether to wear shorts or put on a fucking ski coat. This awesome tree in my yard just bloomed and now everything is probably gonna die. Thanks April, I've been waiting all year for that tree. Fucker.
Oh yeah, enough with the rain and wind already.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
This Old Lady at the Park
A couple weeks ago we met this old lady at the park near the house and she had 3 dogs of leash and listening to her every command. We chatted with her for a couple minutes and I've seen her up there a couple times and always said hi but it wasn't until today that I actually talked to her for a considerable amount of time. It turns out she's had what I considered to be a pretty cool life. Kids, living in cool places and stuff like that.
Then she told me that she had just moved to the area with her dogs about 2 years ago. I asked 'Oh yeah, where did you move from?'. 'The Bahamas', she said. 'You moved 3 dogs from the Bahamas?' I asked. 'Yep, they're my dogs' she answered matter-of-factly.
Now I'm going to put this into perspective. This self-described decrepit old lady (I guess to be mid 70s) had the patience to move 3 fairly large adult dogs from the freakin Bahamas but all these yuppie fucks on craigslist are getting rid of their dogs because they're too lazy to find a home that accepts pets? Fuck! She's at the park EVERY DAY!
It must be a generational thing. This little old lady can handle 3 dogs, my Mom handled us and dogs and cats and whatever else but nobody now seems to be able to control their shit. Don't believe me? Go on the pets section of craigslist and look how many people are 'rehoming' animals due to work or moving or having kids or just plain fucking laziness. Makes me sick.
Then she told me that she had just moved to the area with her dogs about 2 years ago. I asked 'Oh yeah, where did you move from?'. 'The Bahamas', she said. 'You moved 3 dogs from the Bahamas?' I asked. 'Yep, they're my dogs' she answered matter-of-factly.
Now I'm going to put this into perspective. This self-described decrepit old lady (I guess to be mid 70s) had the patience to move 3 fairly large adult dogs from the freakin Bahamas but all these yuppie fucks on craigslist are getting rid of their dogs because they're too lazy to find a home that accepts pets? Fuck! She's at the park EVERY DAY!
It must be a generational thing. This little old lady can handle 3 dogs, my Mom handled us and dogs and cats and whatever else but nobody now seems to be able to control their shit. Don't believe me? Go on the pets section of craigslist and look how many people are 'rehoming' animals due to work or moving or having kids or just plain fucking laziness. Makes me sick.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
My Take on the AIG Bonuses
So I'm sure everyone knows about the AIG bonuses so I'll keep the wrap up short. Basically AIG got close to $200billion in bailout money then spent nearly $200million to pay bonuses. Now everybody is really pissed.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed too, BUT I fail to see where an entire week of congressional debates should be spent trying to get this money back. As pissed as I am about this it's not that much money in the grand scheme of things. They're basically spending all this time trying to recoup the cost of 1-1/2 F-22 Raptors (that's what Starscream is for those that don't know).
This shit should have been taken care of before the buyout. Someone should have said 'Look here assholes, we're keeping you from going under w/ our bailout so you're playing by our rules now. Say goodbye to your undeserved bonus fucker.'
Proponents of the bonuses claim they need to remain intact to help with employee retention. Retain the same decision makers that fucked everything up in the first place? Awesome.
You know what, let them keep their bonuses. That way they hopefully stay w/ AIG and don't go to other banks to fuck them up too. Apparently most of these fuckers don't even need the money as some of the money has been given back.
Note to Congress: When you make a mistake and curing it will cost more (theoretically) than just letting it slide, just let it slide and move on to more important things.
Don't get me wrong, I'm pissed too, BUT I fail to see where an entire week of congressional debates should be spent trying to get this money back. As pissed as I am about this it's not that much money in the grand scheme of things. They're basically spending all this time trying to recoup the cost of 1-1/2 F-22 Raptors (that's what Starscream is for those that don't know).
This shit should have been taken care of before the buyout. Someone should have said 'Look here assholes, we're keeping you from going under w/ our bailout so you're playing by our rules now. Say goodbye to your undeserved bonus fucker.'
Proponents of the bonuses claim they need to remain intact to help with employee retention. Retain the same decision makers that fucked everything up in the first place? Awesome.
You know what, let them keep their bonuses. That way they hopefully stay w/ AIG and don't go to other banks to fuck them up too. Apparently most of these fuckers don't even need the money as some of the money has been given back.
Note to Congress: When you make a mistake and curing it will cost more (theoretically) than just letting it slide, just let it slide and move on to more important things.
Friday, March 20, 2009
JC to Nuclear Subs: Stop Running Into Each Other!!!!!!
For the second time in as many months a fucking nuclear submarine ran into another vessel. This time it was one of ours.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090320/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_us_navy_ships_collide
Of all the millions of square miles in the ocean and the billions of dollars invested in navigation and sonar equipment you would think that a NUCLEAR FUCKING SUBMARINE would be able to avoid anything in it's path.
I'm sure that driving a 100,000 ton machine (or however much they weigh) is not easy, but if I can find a way to park my truck in Fells on a Friday night these highly trained captains can certainly stop putting us on the brink of a nuclear apocalypse and learn how to drive.
Fuck.....
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090320/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_us_navy_ships_collide
Of all the millions of square miles in the ocean and the billions of dollars invested in navigation and sonar equipment you would think that a NUCLEAR FUCKING SUBMARINE would be able to avoid anything in it's path.
I'm sure that driving a 100,000 ton machine (or however much they weigh) is not easy, but if I can find a way to park my truck in Fells on a Friday night these highly trained captains can certainly stop putting us on the brink of a nuclear apocalypse and learn how to drive.
Fuck.....
Monday, March 16, 2009
There's a special spot in hell for you, you little asshole
The most convenient dog walking park for me is Double Rock Park located smack dab in the middle of frickin Parkville. 'Wow, what a shithole' you must be saying to yourself. Quite the contrary. Double Rock is usually empty, mostly free of trash and even has a cool little waterfall area. With it's 2+ miles of trail I think it's one of Bmores hidden gems. The only problem, sometimes, is the kids.
Most kids I've met there seem pretty cool. Some were sledding one time. Some like to sit on the rocks and just bullshit. There's little bits of stupid graffiti here and there but nothing really glaring.
There's also a really nice park bench made of marble overlooking the waterfall. Not only is it a really nice bench, it was dedicated to the memory of a lady that died of cancer. It has her name and the dates etched right into it. It always made me feel good because I thought 'This bench is going to be here for a super long time. Nobody's gonna mess with that thing. It's too beautiful'.
Wrong.
Today as I climbed up the rocks adjacent to the waterfall I came upon the bench and noticed the 'bench' part (you know, where your ass goes) was ripped off, flipped over and thrown on the ground. I was filled with so much rage I wanted to punch the next little son of a bitch I saw. Lucky for the kid on the bike I saw 15 seconds later I have some restraint. He was actually nice and waved anyway.
The point is this; whether or not you believe in hell, karma or whatever, I feel the bad deeds you do in your lifetime will come back and fuck you right in the ass. I'm by no means a religious man but this is the only thing that keeps me going. That me being a good person and working hard will bring good things to me. I guess it gives me a sense of entitlement. Is that wrong? Maybe.
I've often found solace in the fact that the fucking monsters that can do something like this will get there's in the end. That's why I'm not big on revenge. Karma (or whatever you want to call it) is gonna get those sons of bitches in the end anyway.
Most kids I've met there seem pretty cool. Some were sledding one time. Some like to sit on the rocks and just bullshit. There's little bits of stupid graffiti here and there but nothing really glaring.
There's also a really nice park bench made of marble overlooking the waterfall. Not only is it a really nice bench, it was dedicated to the memory of a lady that died of cancer. It has her name and the dates etched right into it. It always made me feel good because I thought 'This bench is going to be here for a super long time. Nobody's gonna mess with that thing. It's too beautiful'.
Wrong.
Today as I climbed up the rocks adjacent to the waterfall I came upon the bench and noticed the 'bench' part (you know, where your ass goes) was ripped off, flipped over and thrown on the ground. I was filled with so much rage I wanted to punch the next little son of a bitch I saw. Lucky for the kid on the bike I saw 15 seconds later I have some restraint. He was actually nice and waved anyway.
The point is this; whether or not you believe in hell, karma or whatever, I feel the bad deeds you do in your lifetime will come back and fuck you right in the ass. I'm by no means a religious man but this is the only thing that keeps me going. That me being a good person and working hard will bring good things to me. I guess it gives me a sense of entitlement. Is that wrong? Maybe.
I've often found solace in the fact that the fucking monsters that can do something like this will get there's in the end. That's why I'm not big on revenge. Karma (or whatever you want to call it) is gonna get those sons of bitches in the end anyway.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Fuck the Amish
Most people are like 'oh neat, Amish'. 'They're so cool and wholesome. I wish I could be like them for little while to escape the rat race!'
Well, you know what, FUCK the Amish. I hate those sons of bitches.
Hey JC, you're just being intolerant of their ass backwards ways. Think so? Let me shed a little light on why I hate the god damned Amish.
1) Puppy Mills: This is mostly where my hatred of the Amish comes from. They treat these animals like livestock only worse. If you want to classify dogs as livestock fine, but treat them better than this:
Well, you know what, FUCK the Amish. I hate those sons of bitches.
Hey JC, you're just being intolerant of their ass backwards ways. Think so? Let me shed a little light on why I hate the god damned Amish.
1) Puppy Mills: This is mostly where my hatred of the Amish comes from. They treat these animals like livestock only worse. If you want to classify dogs as livestock fine, but treat them better than this:
The bastards are heartless. The female dogs will sit in there cages where they are forced to breed until they die. I've seen a dog rehabilitated because it had never touched grass with it's feet and was terrified. Fuckin sick. I got an email that Wayne Pacelle (the head of the Humane Society) was going to be on Oprah last year to expose these puppy mills so I tuned in. It went a little something like this:
This shit needs to stop.
2) Now that I've settled down a little I'll tell you why else I hate these SOBs. Hypocrisy. Oh, the Amish can't use technology or electricity or anything like that. How about you stop roller skating down the middle of the fucking road on your polyurethane roller blades! Pretty sure you didn't make those in your woodshop Eli. And would it kill you to pose for a picture? Retards think the camera's going to steal their souls.
3) Play by our rules. I'm all about separating church and state. Therefore the Amish better start paying all the same shit I have to. Ex: [edit] The Amish gain exemption from social insurance programs in the United States
In 1965 the United States Congress allowed the Amish to be exempt from the Social Security tax, following a persistent resistance campaign from some Amish who regarded insurance programs as mistrustful of God and therefore against their religious teachings.[43] See 26 U.S.C. § 3127 and 26 U.S.C. § 1402(g) (this exemption also covers Medicare taxes).
So I can be exempt from bullshit Social Security because of religion? Sign me right the fuck up.
4) Get over yourselves. Just let it go. You're not being cool by trying to cling to your ass backward ways. You count on stupid fuckin yuppies to continue to buy your shit. Get your lame ass buggies the hell out of the middle of the road. You shelter the hell out of your kids then let them experience real life before they commit to your ways and they always get fucked up.
In conclusion: Pay your shit and if you're going to live your pious life stop jerking me around. Live it already and get the fuck off the roads that our big ass diesel dump trucks built. And stop breeding dogs like chickens (or worse). Got it Ishmael?
I'd love to drop a big bomb filled with playboys and booze right on Lancaster county.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Bye GM
So it seems almost inevitable that GM will either file chapter 11 or just completely go out of business. I can't imagine Obama will give them the $30billion they require to stay afloat.
Bye.
I have no pity for GM. Let's take a look at some of their flagship vehicles shall we:
-Hummer 2 - fuck these overgrown pieces of shit, starting at $50k getting 10mpg to take little Connor to soccer practice
-Escalade - another useless overgrown gas guzzling POS. Wait, they don't cost enough to begin with, better slap some 24s on it
-Corvette - 'vettes are sick and are not meant to be everyday transportation. Corvette, you are excused
-Impala - pretty boring, average to poor mpg, expensive w/ a base price of $25k.
-Malibu - is that an Impala? I can't tell the difference
-Silverado Pickup - starts at $21k for a stripped down 2-wheel drive work truck? I paid slightly more than that for my 4wheel drive long bed w/ auto trans in a DECENT economy. You're not blowing me away by topping out at 21mpg either
-Tahoe/Suburban - a slightly differenter (yeah, differenter) Hummer (see above for rant)
-HHR/Equinox/Traverse - what the fuck are you things supposed to be. Do people use you for work trucks, are you for families or do you just drive around looking stupid?
-Cobalt/Aveo - Wow, the Aveo is an ugly, bitchy little car. Bet it gets great mpg though. Right? No, it TOPS OUT at 34mpg. Probably going downhill with a tailwind being driven by a jockey with the windows up and no a/c. Oh cool, it's only $13k to start (Nissan's superior Versa starts under $10k)
Here's something I learned in my research: The new Corvette ZR1 produces an astonishing 638hp and can top out at 190mph. That's sick!! You know what's sicker? It gets 26mpg. Why can't I get a pickup with 200 measly hp that gets better than 15? Head scratcher there.
GM's website proudly proclaims 'Choose from 83 different models!'. Who the hell needs that much choice? No wonder they're going out of business. How are you supposed to effectively market and support 83 different models? There should be about 1/4 of that number. 1 little car, 2 sedans, 1 sports car, 1 exotic, 1 tiny SUV, 1 little SUV, 1 almost big SUV, 1 van and 2 pickups. That's 11 models that cover almost every base. OK, bump it up to 13 by adding an 'everyman' sports car and maybe 1 of those stupid crossovers.
The world does not need any more damn Hummers, Tahoes or Suburbans. Take a page out of Volvo's book GM. They have like 4 models and seem to still be successful. Even the other members of the big 3 have significantly fewer models.
I feel sorry for the workers that will probably lose their jobs. This will leave many households and even communities in ruin.
The only thing I can think of that will save GM is either a huge bailout that they will never have to repay or forced nationalism through excessive tariffs on imports or some shit. Oh wait, all the imports are made in Kentucky? Guess that plan is out the window. People these days seem more proud to have a foreign car that gets better mpg than one that was made in our own country. Maybe I'm a little hypocritical as I've owned a Volvo (great car btw).
We had our own little 'state of the company' talk today. I was happy to learn that when times were good my company had the foresight to sock money away and expand in a responsible and cautious manner. Because of this we're actually positioned to swoop in and take advantage of our flailing competition. Maybe GM could have stolen a page out of good ol' Alliance Material Handling's playbook. Hooray me!
Bye.
I have no pity for GM. Let's take a look at some of their flagship vehicles shall we:
-Hummer 2 - fuck these overgrown pieces of shit, starting at $50k getting 10mpg to take little Connor to soccer practice
-Escalade - another useless overgrown gas guzzling POS. Wait, they don't cost enough to begin with, better slap some 24s on it
-Corvette - 'vettes are sick and are not meant to be everyday transportation. Corvette, you are excused
-Impala - pretty boring, average to poor mpg, expensive w/ a base price of $25k.
-Malibu - is that an Impala? I can't tell the difference
-Silverado Pickup - starts at $21k for a stripped down 2-wheel drive work truck? I paid slightly more than that for my 4wheel drive long bed w/ auto trans in a DECENT economy. You're not blowing me away by topping out at 21mpg either
-Tahoe/Suburban - a slightly differenter (yeah, differenter) Hummer (see above for rant)
-HHR/Equinox/Traverse - what the fuck are you things supposed to be. Do people use you for work trucks, are you for families or do you just drive around looking stupid?
-Cobalt/Aveo - Wow, the Aveo is an ugly, bitchy little car. Bet it gets great mpg though. Right? No, it TOPS OUT at 34mpg. Probably going downhill with a tailwind being driven by a jockey with the windows up and no a/c. Oh cool, it's only $13k to start (Nissan's superior Versa starts under $10k)
Here's something I learned in my research: The new Corvette ZR1 produces an astonishing 638hp and can top out at 190mph. That's sick!! You know what's sicker? It gets 26mpg. Why can't I get a pickup with 200 measly hp that gets better than 15? Head scratcher there.
GM's website proudly proclaims 'Choose from 83 different models!'. Who the hell needs that much choice? No wonder they're going out of business. How are you supposed to effectively market and support 83 different models? There should be about 1/4 of that number. 1 little car, 2 sedans, 1 sports car, 1 exotic, 1 tiny SUV, 1 little SUV, 1 almost big SUV, 1 van and 2 pickups. That's 11 models that cover almost every base. OK, bump it up to 13 by adding an 'everyman' sports car and maybe 1 of those stupid crossovers.
The world does not need any more damn Hummers, Tahoes or Suburbans. Take a page out of Volvo's book GM. They have like 4 models and seem to still be successful. Even the other members of the big 3 have significantly fewer models.
I feel sorry for the workers that will probably lose their jobs. This will leave many households and even communities in ruin.
The only thing I can think of that will save GM is either a huge bailout that they will never have to repay or forced nationalism through excessive tariffs on imports or some shit. Oh wait, all the imports are made in Kentucky? Guess that plan is out the window. People these days seem more proud to have a foreign car that gets better mpg than one that was made in our own country. Maybe I'm a little hypocritical as I've owned a Volvo (great car btw).
We had our own little 'state of the company' talk today. I was happy to learn that when times were good my company had the foresight to sock money away and expand in a responsible and cautious manner. Because of this we're actually positioned to swoop in and take advantage of our flailing competition. Maybe GM could have stolen a page out of good ol' Alliance Material Handling's playbook. Hooray me!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Shoot on Site
I've often envisioned driving around w/ a 50 cal mounted to the roof of my truck to wipe out butthole drivers instantly. This morning I saw a headline that made me want to institute a 'shoot on site' law for people that are just useless.
http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20090303/ODD.McNuggets.911/
So you call 911 because McDonalds can't supply enough McNuggets to satisfy your fat ass? sure, McNuggets are delicious but running out of them by no means entitles you to call 911. Fucking waste of skin and resources. This person I'm sure has nothing good at all to contribute to society.
Enter - Terminator Law
Tweek and I came up with this law and swore if either of us was elected to a high enough office we would enact it. Basically it gives us the right (or duty) to drive around with roof mounted cannons and eradicate the world of morons.
From top to bottom these are the people I would target:
-Murderers
-Rapists
-Pedophiles
-Drug Dealers
-Animal Abusers
-Back yard breeders
-Amish (I'll rant about them later)
-Really fat people
-People that don't use their turn signals
-Fans of American Idol
-Soccer Moms
-People like the fat bitch in the article
-Anyone that has kids while already ON welfare
This is a list of people the world can do without.
Disclaimer: I don't really want anyone to die, it's just a rant
http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-general/20090303/ODD.McNuggets.911/
So you call 911 because McDonalds can't supply enough McNuggets to satisfy your fat ass? sure, McNuggets are delicious but running out of them by no means entitles you to call 911. Fucking waste of skin and resources. This person I'm sure has nothing good at all to contribute to society.
Enter - Terminator Law
Tweek and I came up with this law and swore if either of us was elected to a high enough office we would enact it. Basically it gives us the right (or duty) to drive around with roof mounted cannons and eradicate the world of morons.
From top to bottom these are the people I would target:
-Murderers
-Rapists
-Pedophiles
-Drug Dealers
-Animal Abusers
-Back yard breeders
-Amish (I'll rant about them later)
-Really fat people
-People that don't use their turn signals
-Fans of American Idol
-Soccer Moms
-People like the fat bitch in the article
-Anyone that has kids while already ON welfare
This is a list of people the world can do without.
Disclaimer: I don't really want anyone to die, it's just a rant
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Gonna drink Captain till I die so my Mom can be Rich
It's stories like this that really piss me off:
http://http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-finance/20090218/Florida.Smokers/
Go ahead. Blame Marlboro for making you a chain smoker. Blame McDonalds for making you a fatass. I hate these fucking people!!!!! Own up to your shit!
Somehow the jury decided this guy was 58% responsible for his habit. How the hell they figured that out is beyond me. Truth is, he was 100% responsible for his horrible habit. Yeah, horrible. I hate smoking but I hate companies getting blamed for shit like this even more.
I think I'll sue Seagrams because I'm not a rocket scientist. It's not because I was too lazy to finish my engineering degree, it must have been the rum.
http://http://www.comcast.net/articles/news-finance/20090218/Florida.Smokers/
Go ahead. Blame Marlboro for making you a chain smoker. Blame McDonalds for making you a fatass. I hate these fucking people!!!!! Own up to your shit!
Somehow the jury decided this guy was 58% responsible for his habit. How the hell they figured that out is beyond me. Truth is, he was 100% responsible for his horrible habit. Yeah, horrible. I hate smoking but I hate companies getting blamed for shit like this even more.
I think I'll sue Seagrams because I'm not a rocket scientist. It's not because I was too lazy to finish my engineering degree, it must have been the rum.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
General Stupidity
I declare that roughly 60% of our population is just flat out stupid. I never really believed this growing up but as I've gotten out into the real world my eyes have certainly been opened.
I bet you don't believe me. That you say to yourself 'How can the majority of people be stupid?'. I had trouble believing it myself and it never occurred to me until a few years ago why.
You see, I was lucky enough to have parents that cared about my education. Even in Kindergarten I would stay after with the teacher so I could catch up to the upper echelons of the class. By middle and high school I was always in the above average classes. This is where I started losing touch with the nation's stupidity.
Because I was surrounded in school by kids of above average intelligence I thought this was how the rest of the world was, mostly. I still knew there were a bunch of dumbasses but it never occurred to me how many.
When I got out of high school and moved to college I was in high level engineering classes. No real dumbasses there so my blurred perception continued.
It really wasn't until I started in the workforce that I realized how many idiots there really were. Sometimes I would try to explain a simple concept to these guys and they would look at me with these glazed over expressions and I could tell their brains just froze in their tracks.
Think about it; most that will read this blog are in the same boat as me. That is, blinded from all this stupidity through school and technical careers. I ask you to do one thing if you really don't believe me. Try going going to the MVA one time. (Or the South).
It's not even a reflection on gender or race either. I was watching this woman and some dumbass kids at a bar this past weekend and I swear she sound like she was saying 'duh, uh, derrr, like duh'. From her outward appearance this woman bore the trappings of someone at least mildly intellignet. Not so. She was a complete and utter nitwit. Trophy wife you say? Doubt it, just dumb.
Some examples of our nation's stupidity:
-Bush was elected
-Bush was elected again
-American Idol is popular
-Carlos Mencia had his own show
-Sarah Palin
-Congress spends more time on sports and PC issues than fixing our country
-McDonalds has pictures on their cash registers
-People find it clever to use this: :)
Some things to watch that scream stupidity:
-anybody interviewed on local news at a crime scene
-most pro athletes trying to weasel out of something
-soccer moms trying to drive SUVs
-right wing conservatives
-left wing liberals
-today's children's programming (just bright colors, no substance)
-local news
-drunk girls age 21-24
-any comment left after a news story on any site (mainly Yahoo!)
-spelling on web posts
----sidebar - I was going to add Springer to this list but it's a given
-daytime court shows
-criminals on Dog the Bounty Hunter (I know people like this)
Look at the look on the dipshits face that ran our country for 8 years. Damn!
I bet you don't believe me. That you say to yourself 'How can the majority of people be stupid?'. I had trouble believing it myself and it never occurred to me until a few years ago why.
You see, I was lucky enough to have parents that cared about my education. Even in Kindergarten I would stay after with the teacher so I could catch up to the upper echelons of the class. By middle and high school I was always in the above average classes. This is where I started losing touch with the nation's stupidity.
Because I was surrounded in school by kids of above average intelligence I thought this was how the rest of the world was, mostly. I still knew there were a bunch of dumbasses but it never occurred to me how many.
When I got out of high school and moved to college I was in high level engineering classes. No real dumbasses there so my blurred perception continued.
It really wasn't until I started in the workforce that I realized how many idiots there really were. Sometimes I would try to explain a simple concept to these guys and they would look at me with these glazed over expressions and I could tell their brains just froze in their tracks.
Think about it; most that will read this blog are in the same boat as me. That is, blinded from all this stupidity through school and technical careers. I ask you to do one thing if you really don't believe me. Try going going to the MVA one time. (Or the South).
It's not even a reflection on gender or race either. I was watching this woman and some dumbass kids at a bar this past weekend and I swear she sound like she was saying 'duh, uh, derrr, like duh'. From her outward appearance this woman bore the trappings of someone at least mildly intellignet. Not so. She was a complete and utter nitwit. Trophy wife you say? Doubt it, just dumb.
Some examples of our nation's stupidity:
-Bush was elected
-Bush was elected again
-American Idol is popular
-Carlos Mencia had his own show
-Sarah Palin
-Congress spends more time on sports and PC issues than fixing our country
-McDonalds has pictures on their cash registers
-People find it clever to use this: :)
Some things to watch that scream stupidity:
-anybody interviewed on local news at a crime scene
-most pro athletes trying to weasel out of something
-soccer moms trying to drive SUVs
-right wing conservatives
-left wing liberals
-today's children's programming (just bright colors, no substance)
-local news
-drunk girls age 21-24
-any comment left after a news story on any site (mainly Yahoo!)
-spelling on web posts
----sidebar - I was going to add Springer to this list but it's a given
-daytime court shows
-criminals on Dog the Bounty Hunter (I know people like this)
Look at the look on the dipshits face that ran our country for 8 years. Damn!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Dodging Bullets
I work acroos the hall from the President of my company. Most times the door is wide open. Today, not so much. It seems our recession has finally infiltrated my little corner of the world.
We're a fairly small company of about 180 employees working out of 3 branches. Today 11 of those employees were let go at my location alone. Some of these people had been with the company for 10, 15 even 20 years and most were good at what they did.
Now most times I never fear losing my job. I always tell myself 'Hey, even if I do lose my job I'll have another one by tomorrow'. Now I'm not so sure. Lucky for me I was pulled aside with a couple other people and told I was safe and that they need me to help get through this tough patch.
You know why I'm still there? It aint because of my bouncy fuckin personality, that's for sure. It's because I can do way more stuff than my actual job calls for. It's because I force my employers to view me as indespensible. New ideas, innovation and all that crap.
Apparently just doing your job at an acceptable level isn't good enough these days. I'm ok with that. I don't care for people getting blindsided and losing their jobs but I guess that's just the harsh reality. I was lucky to be raised with a strong work ethic where going above and beyond was commonplace.
Sidenote-I was walking down the hall yesterday and asked the HR person when our awards banquet was going to be ('cause I'm all about a free lunch) and she just kind of brushed me off. Now I know she wasn't just being ignorant.
Oddly enough one of the headlines on my Comcast homepage said 'Jobless rate hits 34 year high'. Most times I don't know people that are associated with statistics. Then I saw this which was fairly hilarious:
We're a fairly small company of about 180 employees working out of 3 branches. Today 11 of those employees were let go at my location alone. Some of these people had been with the company for 10, 15 even 20 years and most were good at what they did.
Now most times I never fear losing my job. I always tell myself 'Hey, even if I do lose my job I'll have another one by tomorrow'. Now I'm not so sure. Lucky for me I was pulled aside with a couple other people and told I was safe and that they need me to help get through this tough patch.
You know why I'm still there? It aint because of my bouncy fuckin personality, that's for sure. It's because I can do way more stuff than my actual job calls for. It's because I force my employers to view me as indespensible. New ideas, innovation and all that crap.
Apparently just doing your job at an acceptable level isn't good enough these days. I'm ok with that. I don't care for people getting blindsided and losing their jobs but I guess that's just the harsh reality. I was lucky to be raised with a strong work ethic where going above and beyond was commonplace.
Sidenote-I was walking down the hall yesterday and asked the HR person when our awards banquet was going to be ('cause I'm all about a free lunch) and she just kind of brushed me off. Now I know she wasn't just being ignorant.
Oddly enough one of the headlines on my Comcast homepage said 'Jobless rate hits 34 year high'. Most times I don't know people that are associated with statistics. Then I saw this which was fairly hilarious:
I guess what I fear is for my hard work to not even matter one day. For the economy to get so bad that they just shitcan me anyway. Man that would piss me off.
And that brings me to my point. Michael Phelps. This asshole just so happens to be decent at swimming and everybody kisses his ass and gives him sponsorship deals and tons of money and do you know what his only job for the next 3 years is? Keep your fucking nose clean and be a marketable athlete. Piece of shit couldn't even get that right. I wonder if being a horsefaced douche is in his new book. Bitch.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Recession Cure = Dollar Menu
Apparently there's one company that's not hurting from the economy; the good old golden arches. http://www.comcast.net/articles/finance/20081022/BUSINESS-US-MCDONALDS/
I've been down this road before after suffering a few personal 'recessions'. How often can you get a hot meal for under $5? Problem is it's not really that healthy (little bit of an understatement).
No f'n wonder the nation is so damn fat! Have you ever comparison shopped skinless chicken breast vs. Ramen noodles? Lean ground sirloin beef vs. Ground Chuck? $0.49 pot pies vs. making it yourself? You've got to be fairly sharp and committed to eat well on a budget.
I know people that eat this shit everyday. You know why? Yep, cheap and easy.
As I mostly love capitalism this is not a knock on McDonalds or any other purveyor of shitty fast foods. They don't hide who they are. You are not forced to eat a Big Mac.
What pisses me off though is the parent that counts on this food as the staple of their child's nutrition. The ultimate in laziness. Soccer Moms are mostly guilty of this and I have known parents (actually wealthy) that will cram this crap down their kid's gullets on a daily basis.
I was a lucky child. My Mom was not lazy and we viewed our rare fast food excursions as a treat, never a meal. Luckily this is something that has stuck with me as I've gotten older.
Thanks Mom.
I've been down this road before after suffering a few personal 'recessions'. How often can you get a hot meal for under $5? Problem is it's not really that healthy (little bit of an understatement).
No f'n wonder the nation is so damn fat! Have you ever comparison shopped skinless chicken breast vs. Ramen noodles? Lean ground sirloin beef vs. Ground Chuck? $0.49 pot pies vs. making it yourself? You've got to be fairly sharp and committed to eat well on a budget.
I know people that eat this shit everyday. You know why? Yep, cheap and easy.
As I mostly love capitalism this is not a knock on McDonalds or any other purveyor of shitty fast foods. They don't hide who they are. You are not forced to eat a Big Mac.
What pisses me off though is the parent that counts on this food as the staple of their child's nutrition. The ultimate in laziness. Soccer Moms are mostly guilty of this and I have known parents (actually wealthy) that will cram this crap down their kid's gullets on a daily basis.
I was a lucky child. My Mom was not lazy and we viewed our rare fast food excursions as a treat, never a meal. Luckily this is something that has stuck with me as I've gotten older.
Thanks Mom.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Michael f'n Vick
So apparently the most nut job of all animal rights group actually extended this piece of shit an olive branch. PETA offered to shoot a PSA with this son of a bitch speaking about dog fighting. Vick's attornys agreed and then said, 'Oh, while you're at it, how about you support his return to the NFL?'. PETA was all like, 'fuck you' and they withdrew their offer to shoot the spot.
Are Vick's lawyers part time congressmen or something? Taking a good idea and then tacking all this crap on the back end to fuck it up.
Typically I don't care for PETA because most times their tactics are irresponsible and make people disassociate with them, but this time they were actually willing to forgive a little and do some good.
If you want to see the carnage Vick left behind I urge you to try to find the episode of Dogtown on the National Geographic Channel. I think it was two parts. Anyway, it chronicles the journey of the dogs that made it out of that hellhole and were actually given a chance at rehab. It's unfortunate that many of them will live out their lives in that shelter due to the agressive tendencies they learned from Vick and his cronies. Their fate is still far better then the ones that didn't make it out.
Are Vick's lawyers part time congressmen or something? Taking a good idea and then tacking all this crap on the back end to fuck it up.
Typically I don't care for PETA because most times their tactics are irresponsible and make people disassociate with them, but this time they were actually willing to forgive a little and do some good.
If you want to see the carnage Vick left behind I urge you to try to find the episode of Dogtown on the National Geographic Channel. I think it was two parts. Anyway, it chronicles the journey of the dogs that made it out of that hellhole and were actually given a chance at rehab. It's unfortunate that many of them will live out their lives in that shelter due to the agressive tendencies they learned from Vick and his cronies. Their fate is still far better then the ones that didn't make it out.
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